16 January 2008

An Australian Suggestion

MEDIA RELEASE - From the International Cricket Council for immediate release (especially in India).

The ICC has announced several changes to the playing conditions for the forthcoming 3rd test in Perth between Australia and India. These changes include:
* India must win.

* The umpires shall be nominated by the Indian team. It will be acceptable if reserve Indian players rotate as umpires.

* During the game all appeals shall be referred to the Indian management team and the Indian media contingent prior to any decision being made. (This includes where an Indian player may appear, to the naked eye, to have been bowled.)

* When the Indian team is batting the boundary rope shall be moved inwards 20 metres.
* Australian bowlers shall bowl under arm.
* India must win.
* Any time Ricky Ponting is on the field he shall be restrained in a full length strait jacket and muzzled.
* Any Australian spin bowler must advise the batsman in advance what type of delivery is going to be bowled.
* At any time Andrew Symons is on the field he must wear a gorilla suit and accept any sledging in the light hearted manner that
this is intended.

* India must win.
* Harbhajan Singh will be cleared on appeal and be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.
* Indian batsman may be permitted to use larger bats.
* Australian batsmen may use a bat every fifth over.
* Australian fieldsman should praise every batting attempt by the Indians by saying "Good shot chaps." Apart from this Australian players are not permitted to speak.

* During the lunch and tea break both teams shall get together and have a cup of tea.
* India must win. The ICC and the BCCI hope that all Australians will understand these minor changes are intended in the best interest of the game.

The ICC would also like to announce that Steve Bucknor has been appointed as the ICC's new cricketing ambassador to Kazikstan. The ICC wishes Steve all the best in this important, newly created role.

RIP International Cricket


Ed said...

It's sad that the over reaction by India to the bad decisions means that they have lost a bit of public support. They were very badly off in the 2nd Test in terms of wrong decisions, but I think they handled it like screaming children throwing toys out of the pram.

Having said that, I don't thing Harbajan should get any ban unless there is evidence he said what he is accused of saying - that's standard practise....innocent til PROVEN guilty!

Anonymous said...

Ed I agree about the harbajan issue...you cannot find someone guilty when its one persons word against another

Also it would appear that the aussies do not like for a moment when a team challenges them and exposes them as cheats